Tweets

  1. 23h

    But I don't really have any hatches to batten down...

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  2. 24 Sep

    Here you will find the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever seen. AUSTRALIA SAYS NO!!!

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  3. 17 Sep

    “I just couldn’t love without my morning Boost Juice and durry.” - Melbourne's teenagers

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  4. 17 Sep

    I always recommend a pre-workout gin and tonic

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  5. 7 Sep

    ALL HAIL THE LIZARD KING. Please accept the barrier reef as a gift for you and your droid daughters to feast upon.

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  6. 7 Sep

    Can anyone confirm whether the sun is going to come up tomorrow?

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  7. 7 Sep

    There he goes again, claiming the public elect the Prime Minister. ERRRR.

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  8. 7 Sep

    Can anyone in Perth report on how many white wines Alannah MacTiernan has had?

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  9. 7 Sep

    The woman sucking down on that eciggie behind Peter Beattie is too much

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  10. 7 Sep

    Quote of the election from Stephen Smith: “it’s hard to dislodge big Dick from anything”.

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  11. 6 Sep

    “It’s awfully sunny for an apocalypse”.

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  12. 2 Sep

    I REALLY ENJOY SEEING SMALL CHILDREN EAT SUSHI

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  13. 28 Aug

    Transparent white track pants and G banger, Flinders Street 12.02pm

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  14. 24 Aug

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  15. 20 Aug

    "I felt like a cellophane wrapper on a pack of cigarettes".

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  16. 17 Aug

    So when say "single sign on" they actually mean "we're going to ask for your login and password 12 times before displaying that".

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  17. 16 Aug

    "When I was in the panic room with Andrea earlier today, having a Babybel" -

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  18. 12 Aug

    You know you shouldn't be at work at 11.13pm when you accidentally hit 'burn' on your PC and eject the disk drive and topple your champagne

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  19. 6 Aug

    Melbourne is really turning out some city fueled by coffee winter realness today: baristas at tram stops! Yes please!

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  20. 5 Aug

    Remember the good old days when Commonwealth Bank ATMs pushed your card out with haste?

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